Why does it seem that our worst losses are always followed by a bye week? I suppose this is good for the team to regroup, but for the fans, it means we have to stew over this for a week and a half before we get to see the Mountaineers take the field again. However; I do not understand the backlash on the coaching staff and the play calling. I thought our offensive play calling was exciting, not to mention the 509 yards it generated. Its amusing to hear people complain about passing too much, after spending years hearing the same people yelling at he who shall not be named to ditch the spread option. Ironically, this game feels a lot like the loss against Louisville in 2006. Both instances involved a high scoring shootout in which WVU looked like the better team, but inevitably faltered on turnovers . . . remember, Super Steve turned the ball over on running plays? Alas, while disappointed I am also excited. This team looks very talented and the future looks bright, but after a rain soaked loss, Mountaineer Nation has another week to feel like the Soggy Bottom Boys, pun intended.
Heisman Outlook:
This year was supposed to be all about Tebow/McCoy/Bradford followed by Jahvid Best and maybe Max Hall. That hasn't quite worked, with only Best consistently putting up big numbers. Bradford got hurt, McCoy and Tebow have been OK, but haven't had defining games, and Hall hasn't really been explosive, even before they blew their BCS busting status against FSU. Although from day one, all we have heard about is the mission trips and great off-season endeavors of these candidates, so lets break down Heisman Mission Trophy:
Colt McCoy: During Colt's spare time, he loves to visit Children's hospitals. This summer he took that a step further as he helped under-privileged kids in the Amazon. He also recently found a cure for the H1N1 virus.
Max Hall: He is Mormon, so he has to be a saint right? Well unfortunately there are very few details about his LDS mission that he ended abruptly a few years back, so we have nothing to go on here. Although, according to the rumor mill, Max has been teaming up with the Ad Council to remind all senior citizens that they should have Life Alert. A noble deed sir.
Tim Tebow: The ESPN/Hallmark pundits have barraged America with the uber-feel-good stories surrounding Tebow. Tim Tebow has done proudly, used his fame as a religious podium, stating that college football is the perfect platform for reaching out to the masses. He has taken numerous mission trips to the Philippines, Bosnia, and Germany. He has also famously sported the John 3:16 eye black strips, and according to recent reports, has cured cancer. The Downfall, Kenny Mayne got Tebow to admitting to running a meth lab in his ESPN Mag interview. I will give him credit where credit is due, he did beat Ohio State, which correct me if I am wrong, was prophesied in Deuteronomy.
Jarrett Brown: Brown has mostly flown under the radar here, but his work in the animal kingdom should not go unnoticed. Brown's love of animals began as a youngster when he sailed around the world with his grandfather to the Galapagos Islands. It was there that his passion for near extinct animals was born. For the last two summers, Brown has been volunteering his time with the North Eastern Ural Mountain Animal Shelter for Spotted Snow Leopards Foundation to help spread awareness of the nearly extinct species. In the last year, with Brown's help, the NEUMASSSL has managed to release eight new couples into the wild. In addition to this great deed, Jarrett spent his spring break helping to lift the spirits of Filipino prisoners through the art of dance. Winner winner chicken dinner? I think so.
Next, I would like to introduce a new segment to the weekly email. This weekly segment will be coauthored by two of WVU's most distinguished alumni who have volunteered their time to enlighten the EFA audience on key tailgating techniques. Our authors are fellow graduates of the WVU School of Physical Education Athletic Training program, and are each working on their masters. They are 100% Tailgate Tested, Tailgate Approved . . . without further ado, I give to you Erica "Flexibility Isn't Free" Freeman and Nikki "Stretching Ain't Easy" Sabatina.
Trainer’s Tailgating Corner
You may have seen us hydrating athletes on the field or freshmen in the bars, but now we have graduated and have decided to extend our many talented skills and services to drinking in the Blue Lot and keeping our friends in true Mountaineer form. After all, we are a drinking team with a football problem!
Let us introduce ourselves – Erica Freeman and Nikki Sabatina.
For those of you who are still drowning your sorrows in beers over last week’s loss, let us remind you that we have a bye week this week. However, as our team continues to train, we must not lose our tailgating alcohol tolerance. This week’s calisthenics focuses on upper body endurance to keep us in shape for a full day of 12 oz curls for next Thursday night. Your assignment for this week is circuit training to increase your drinking endurance – night games only mean a marathon on consumption. Your circuit of exercises will include:
- push ups with a 30 pack on your back (you may need a fellow Mountaineer to assist you),
- Keg stands are preferred as they work your upper body and liver, but shot gunning a beer will suffice if you don’t have a keg available,
- and a game of flip cup to improve fine motor skills, agility, tactile senses, and chug-ability.
Safety first for these exercises. We don’t want any pulled livers before the big game, so always use a spotter. Remember, a spotter is not only someone who gets the next round at the bar, but is also your real vision when your beer goggles have led you that 5’0” 350 pound lady at the end of the bar with a mustache.
Until next week, we will leave on a high note of inspiration:
“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.” – Homer Simpson
Closing Notes
- Many props to the Auburn fans that derived a marvelous drinking game, see attached photo
- Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Michigan all still suck
- If the NEUMASSSL Foundation doesn't exist, it should.
- For an update on the Auburn game, Vegas lines of the week, and my feelings on the Bud Light Grooler, please check out The TeamMVPTailgatesHere Blog
Love Always and Affectionately,
Al
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