Pigskin Prognosticator Week 9 picks

Competition Record: 21-25-1
Hard Leans: 14-14
WVU: 3-3-1

Week 1: Competition Plays 1-4-1, Hard Leans 1-2
Week 2: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 2-3
Week 3: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 3-0
Week 4: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 1-1
Week 5: Competition Plays 2-3, Hard Leans 2-2
Week 6: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 2-1
Week 7: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 0-3
Week 8: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 3-2

Well at 6 games behind our fearless leader, it's time to rally or be a non-factor. I plan to do the former. As usual, I disagree very strongly with Aaron and Adam which, judging by my record is probably a good thing for them. I have to hope that eventually, some of the squarer, "more obvious" plays on the board stop hitting.

I will add analysis tomorrow but for now, just want to get the picks up. It will be a Saturday full of situational bets for me.

Competition Plays

1.) WVU -6.5 @ Uconn: I looked at every angle of this game and tried desperately to find something that would allow me to take the Huskies. I just couldn't find anything. The line is favorable due to our loss last week, and Zach Frazier is a walking turnover. We should be in a foul mood and out for blood and if that's the case, this game is an easy win. Love this spot for us.

2.) Kentucky +7 @ Miss St: This Kentucky team is on the verge of turning the corner and this will be the week it happens. Kentucky has played well in Starkville over the years. Don't let the score fool you in last weeks loss to Georgia...... Kentucky's defense played well only giving up 190 yards. Take a closer look at the boxscore 100 yards was by special teams on a kickoff return. So take the 100 yard return out of the equation and you have Kentucky D giving up 190 yds to Georgia's defense giving up 423 yards.

The last 5 games Kentucky'a record is 1-4 but they put up 31 or more points in that span.They can score at will and I think they stand a great chance to win straight up.

3.) Ole Miss +7 vs Auburn: This line tells you everything about how good the oddsmakers think Auburn really is. The number one team is only a TD favorite here to a team that has lost at home to Vanderbilt and Jacksonville State? Auburn has only played 2 road games, winning both by a FG.

The Tigers are coming off an emotional, physical game against LSU and are due for a letdown. Auburn's defense is absolutely nothing special. The Rebels are cranking out more than 400 yards and 30 points per game. Also, Gene Chizik admitted to going softer in practice this week to allow the Tigers some recovery. Finally, how about the Houston Nutt factor. In 12 plus years in the SEC the Right Reverend has beaten 21 ranked teams, 14 of them as an underdog. He almost always gets one a year. So I'm SAYIN THERE'S A CHANCE!!!

4.) Nebraska -7.5 vs Missouri: From Pat Forde - "Missouri has a football history that in many ways mirrors South Carolina's: Even the best of times tend to be tempered by some form of heartbreak." Will the statement win over Oklahoma leave Mizzou's tank empty in the second half in Lincoln?

5.) Oregon St. -2.5 vs Cal: It's not complicated folks. Bet Cal at home, fade them on the road.

6.) USC +6.5 vs Oregon: How is nobody talking about Matt Barkley for Heisman? He's got 20 TDs to just 4 ints and is on fire right now, having not thrown a pick in three straight games. The Trojans looked as though they put it together against California and have had a week off to scheme for the the Duck offense. While Monte Kiffin's defense has been suspect this year, give an old cus football coach a week to prepare when it's his team's super bowl, and I don't think you'll see Oregon running up and down the field as much this week. The "GameDay" trap dynamic is at play here as well for a fourth straight week after taking down Alabama, Ohio State and Oklahoma.

Hard Leans

1.) Temple -27.5 vs Akron (Sorry Grey Bush): Temple is the class of the MAC while Akron is likely the worst team in the country. Would have played anything under 5 TDs

2.) Iowa -6 vs Michigan State: Sparty has been a really nice story but let's face reality. They are undefeated largely because of 2 fake punts, one to survive at home against a bad Notre Dame team and one to survive on the road at a mediocre Northwestern team. The win and cover at NW was blind luck. This is in no way a dominant team and it's simply a matter of when, not if, the Spartans will get caught with their pants down. Kinnick Stadium and the opportunistic Hawkeys will take care of that.

3.) Maryland -5 vs Wake Forest: Simply thought this line was short and would have played anything under a TD.

4.) Air Force +7 vs Utah: They're almost all close in this series. They've played 26 times, and the difference in total points between the two is 19. Seventeen of the 26 meetings have been decided by eight or fewer points, including each of the past five. I would like the Falcons a lot more if fullback Jared Tew hadn't broken his leg against SDSU last week. Regardless, in a series like this, with two good teams, the smart money takes the points at home.

To borrow from golf vernacular, it's moving day for me this Saturday. With just five or six weeks to go it's time to put up or shut up.

Why would you steal the Grey Bush's Identity of all people?

Rewind to Friday, September 28, 2007.  Do you remember where you were watching the Mountaineer's get beat down in Tampa?  I unfortunately do, I was on Lorentz Ave.  More importantly, while most of us were getting hammered drunk, our dear friend and faithful reader, C-Rich, was doing what he does best, investigative reporting.

Sure, we all thought he was just getting in line to gaze at the great tits of Jenn Sterger before she inked a Maxim deal, and who could blame him?  Matter of fact we would all be jealous and at least the Shoeless Hillbilly would have a bulge big enough in his pants that Greg Hunter would've had to crop this picture above the belt line (Pigskin would've still had an "inny").  The thing is though, C-Rich wasn't just taking a peek at those taters, he was on the ground floor of a growing crisis in America of identity theft.  Our good buddy had the foresight to know that some day some high profiled man slut would come calling and likely send Jenny a bushy grey dick pic, thus stealing GB's patented identity.

I have no doubt that C-Rich was all ready persuading Sterger that telling the truth and protecting the innocent is more important than protecting the rich and famous, who don't have a clue of when to hang it up.  Thanks to him, Jenn found it within herself to go against the old boy network of the NFL and call a spade a spade.  Hopefully our own Grey Bush will be able return to his normal life soon.

This Yuengling is for you C-Rich.

-Shoeless

Flying Potato-Week Nine Picks

Boise St. -37.5 vs Louisiana Tech
Miami -14.5 @ UVA
Auburn -7 @ Ole’ Miss
Mizzou +7.5 @ Nebraska
Texas -7 vs Baylor

WVU-6.5 @ UCONN

Betting with the Angry Old Man, Week Nine

Plus-sized picks brought to you by my plus-sized house guest!

HEY BABY!

(Home team in CAPS)

BOISE STATE -37.5 v. Louisiana Tech
The Broncos are just plain good. The Techsters (or whatever the hell they are called) are not. Take Boise on the blue turf!

Auburn -7 @ MISSISSIPPI
For the record, I think someone is going to bottle up Cameron Newton and knock off Auburn this season, just not Admiral Ackbar.

Utah -7 @ AIR FORCE
Again, I believe Utah is the best team from all the non-AQ conferences. Air Force is a damn tough team, but I think Utah has enough firepower to win by 10-ish.

Arizona -8 @ UCLA
After seeing the Fighting Neuheisels' disappearing act last week, I think Arizona should handle this one by 2 TDs.

ROAD DOGG OF THE WEEK
Florida +2.5 @ Georgia
So, I'm 1-2 betting Flo-Rida this season, but I think this one could be the Gators' comeback game... or they will completely roll over and pack it in for 2010. Why do I insist on betting on Urban Meyer?

THE HOMER CALL
West Virginia -6.5 @ CONNECTICUT
Next stop on the Jeff Mullen Farewell Tour: Storrs, Connecticut!

- Grey Bush

Betting against Shoeless

Cooled off a bit last week, but still beat all of you schmucks.  Surely the Grey Bush will say some bullshit about not having time to pick, obviously because he stayed home with some chubbies instead of tailgating, or because he picks real games  . . . simply put his weekend was an embarrassment.

Boise -37.5:  I hate messing around with large lines like this, but right now Boise is a broken record or ass whuppings.  Why should I have confidence in La Tech?

Louis-Ville +9.5:  I am a believer, a non-believer in Pitt, simply put.

Tulsa +8:  Notre Dame is putrid and Tulsa is putting up a ton of points, as usual.  Any chance I can realistically bet against team NBC, I will welcome the opportunity.

Michigan -1.5:  I said id bet against Dick Rod until the line corrected itself.  It appears that it has here.  Albeit PSU is at home here in a night game, Michigan does look to be clearly the better team here.


Oregon State -2.5:  Cal is pretty damn unpredictable, but I think that is a product of just shittiness.  This is far from a bold prediction, but Oregon St is the best 3 loss team in the country.  Their three losses come vs TCU in Dallas, at Boise, and at Washington in double OT.

WVU -6.5:  No excuse for losing to Syracuse, none.  However, Uconn is terrible.  If the Eers don't recover and beat this spread, we are in major trouble.  If we figure out a way to lose, Bill Stewart is in major trouble.

Betting with the Angry Old Man, Week Eight

I guess its too late to take Oregon?

(Picks in bold)

South Florida @ -8 Cincinnati
Oklahoma -3 @ Missouri
Michigan State -6 @ Northwestern
South Carolina -12 @ Vanderbilt

ROAD DOGG OF THE WEEK
Rutgers +13 @ Pitt

HOMER CALL
Syracuse @ -14 West Virginia


- Grey Bush

Mark May is Still an Idiot

Flying Potato-Week Eight Picks

CINCY -7.5 vs USF
LSU +6 @ Auburn
Oklahoma -3 @ Mizzou
TCU -18.5 vs Air Force
BC -4 vs Mayland
WVU -14 vs Syracuse

The Email

Dear EFAs,

Another solid victory sends the Mountaineers onto 5-1 with the only worry in mind that we don’t get complacent while on cruise control through the Big East.  However, the 14 point victory of USF inevitably has the Stew Bashers out in full force on how we got “conservative” in the second half and played not to lose by running the ball.  Never mind the fact that it is only the second time we have ever scored 20 or more points against USF.  Don’t tell anyone, but personally I thought the play calling, albeit more run oriented, was still pretty good.  Heaven forbid we pitch the ball around in the second half, Geno throws a pick-six, and all of a sudden Oliver Luck has an overloaded email inbox complaining about how our coach can’t follow conventional wisdom of running the ball with a lead, good field position, and a stout defense. 

I get criticism from people for wasting my time and money to my football devotion by writing these long winded tirades, blog posts, buying season tickets, traveling to way away games etc., but at least at the end of the day, I have the sanity to sit back and actually enjoy it.  I could probably donate an ice cold keg of beer to half our fanbase and they would simply reply that they prefer their beer warm and skunked.  The frustrating thing to me is that you cannot have a reasonable conversation about the pro’s and con’s of our football team because defending Bill Stewart has become similar to voting for either Obama or Mccain where you have to be fervently on one side or the other.  I’ll end my rant with this:  Rich Rod (that dude you all hate, remember) is gone, he left on his own accord, and he ain’t coming back.  We are 5-1, our defense is the best defense that we have had in over a decade, is terrific to watch (how many yrs did we bitch about not having one?), has been ranked in the top ten all year, and after this weekend the whole team will likely be ranked in the mid teens with an easy path to a BCS bowl.  Have a beer, have some food that will clog four arteries at once, and enjoy the ride.

Homecoming Tailgate

I regret to say that the BeerZooka will be retired for at least one tailgate.  When the great creator gave forth the frothy refreshment known as beer, he intended for it to be consumed in a modest time span of 3-8 seconds.  Recent experiments with the BeerZooka, or Paint Stick, have pushed time frames down to a point that we are flirting with sub 2 seconds.  Clearly we are on a slippery slope that the creator did not intend for, similar to cloning.  If we don’t watch out, sooner or later we are going to have a whole flock of hammered Dolly’s running around Morgantown, puking grass balls up everywhere and while that is amusing, that is one hell of a cleanup mess.  The BeerZooka could well tear a hole in the time space continuum and launch the tailgate straight into LOST.  It would take Doc Brown to get us back safely before Biff Tannen gets his sports almanac and dominates the Blog Betting.   This leads us to a deep question, if the tailgate were relegated to LOST, would the Brown Lot be “The Others”? 

The Paint Stick is currently under review from the NASCAR competition committee and we should hear back by next week (they like fast things, but try to put in that safety bull shit).  Hopefully getting Paint Sticked won’t become a restrictor plate event and we can settle for the Hans Device.

By the way, feel free to stop by this weekend and participate as a judge in the great pulled pork cookoff.  It’s great because I’m cooking and I do good things with Swine.

Talking about homecoming, I’ve never really got all that fired up for homecoming.  All the shenanigans on the field before the game are lame and a bad excuse to leave the tailgate early for, but I guess I go to every game so it’s a bit different.  Alas there are always a lot of people in town, so undoubtedly by the end of it I will feel like Amy Winehouse by Sunday morning.

Just What the Doctor Ordered?

I don’t think any reasonable person thought Marshall was going to be worth their weight in toilet paper this year, but can we take down the billboards already?  I mean seriously, for all the shit talk about stealing recruits and the renaissance of Marshall football, how does it feel to be 1-5 and outscored 212-110?  Here is some free advice, if you are going to peg your season around beating one and one team only for the entire season, try beating them once.  The only team they beat, Ohio, at least got their lickings in on the Buckeye when they played team Sweater Vest.  What do you have to say for yourselves?  They should just go ahead and play Memphis, so they can get a 2^nd win of the season and just throw in the towel.  Hell with the fan support they get, they have to be running in the negatives for just turning lights on at Joan Jett stadium.

Random Musings

How terrible is Rutgers?  They get beat at home by Tulane and have to stage a major 4^th quarter comeback to beat Army.  Seriously?  Rumor is that Schiano took down all the Keep Chopping wood signs in the locker room in favor of keep whittling twigs.

On a serious note, for all following the paralyzed Rutgers player from last weekend, here is a good story documenting the comeback of former Penn State player Adam Taliaferro who was given a 3% chance of walking after his spinal injury.

Something has to come to a head this weekend when undefeated Auburn meets undefeated LSU.  Both teams have had extremely close games this year and came out unscathed on the other end, but certainly have not had the same publicity.  The Mad Hatter at LSU has been vilified by winning in ridiculous scenarios and seemingly all WVU fans want them to lose, cause we lost to them . . . other than bitterness, someone please explain to me the logic there.  Chizik’s crew has been powered by JUCO transfer Cam Newton who is in fact a distant cousin to Cam Thoroughman, which means he is certifiably bad ass.  I’m picking the Auburn tiger to break out of his cage, intercept the ball, get tripped by a streaking Auburn chick (yes!), and then picking up a fumble, Jarrett Lee scampers for a TD for the win.  Geaux Les Miles!

Another great 3:30 lineup:  LSU/Auburn, Nebraska v undefeated Ok St., Wisconsin/Iowa, and Uconn/Ville for us BE freaks.  There are ten undefeated teams left in the country, 7 in the BCS conferences, two of which must lose (mizzou v Oklahoma are both undefeated), and Ok state and Michigan state both have tricky matchups.  Some may snicker at MSU prediction, but I think they will get tripped up by a random team, and NW could certainly do it.

Betting On The Blog

I had one of my best weekends betting ever.  I went 5-1 over on the blog, and in weekly pool went 15-5, losing a tiebreaker to come in second for the week in heartbreaking fashion.  Came down to a pick-em in the Oregon State v Washington game.  I have Oregon State, who is down 21-0, we come back to tie it in a fury, then have a 2 qtr stalemate.  Miss the 2 pt conversion in double overtime for the win at 2 in the morning and 43.5 beers in.  I was crushed, but quickly passed away into the night.  Ah well perfection is always one cover away.

Taking a lot of Big East games this week; I like Cincy and Louisville to cover coming out of their home run derby of last week and with all the shit I talk on Rutgers, which is well deserved, Pitt is pretty terrible as well.  I like the 12 points RU is getting there.

Much Love,

Al

Pigskin Prgnosticator Week 8 Picks

Competition Record: 19-21-1
Hard Leans: 11-12
WVU: 3-2-1

Week 1: Competition Plays 1-4-1, Hard Leans 1-2
Week 2: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 2-3
Week 3: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 3-0
Week 4: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 1-1
Week 5: Competition Plays 2-3, Hard Leans 2-2
Week 6: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 2-1
Week 7: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 0-3

Well I got back on track in the competition plays but still had a losing week thanks to the hard lean failures. I have to admit, I love this card more than any so far this year, which probably means I'll go 3-7. There are tons of great situational spots. The only game I'm not actually betting is WVU and I'll be very disappointed if I don't go at least 6-4 this week. And away we go.

1.) Iowa -5.5 vs Wisconsin: Huge letdown spot at Kinnick Stadium on Saturday. Hawks win comfortably.

2.) Northwestern +5 vs Michigan State: Favorite play of the week. I view the Wildcats loss to Purdue as a departure from the norm and this is a classic look ahead spot for Sparty with Iowa on deck. I like Northwestern to win this one straight up and end the Grey Bush's dream of an undefeated season for Sparty.

3.) Georgia -3.5 at UK: The desperate Dawgs have figured it out offensively and could still factor into the SEC East race seeing as how that once proud division has turned into an underachieving pile of mediocrity this year. Add in a a letdown spot for the Cats and I like Georgia to get this done.

4.) LSU +6 at Auburn: I'm starting to get that team of destiny feel with the LSU. Think Ohio State circa 2002. That was a team that could have easily been 7-5 or 8-4 but just found a way every week. We'll see how Cam Newton fairs against a nasty defense. I just hope it's close late so Les Miles can screw something up and yet still phone one in to Lucifer in his apparent deal with the Devil.

5.) ECU -12.5 vs Marshall: I have tremendous respect for Vegas and I don't throw the term "gift" around very often but this is just ridiculous. There is no way Marshall's young secondary can stop this passing attack. I guess the books are counting on the Herd to score with them by taking advantage of a porous Pirate defense, but MU has yet to play competitive at all on the road. That trend continues this week.

6.) WVU -14 vs Syracuse: If Pitt can score 45 on the road pitching a catching the football, we should have similar success.

Hard Leans
1.) SMU -7.5 vs Houston

2.) Cincy -7.5 vs USF

3.) Nebraska -5.5 at Okie State: Pokes are frauds and pretenders plain and simple. Let's see how they do against the nation's best pass defense.

4.) Louisville -1 vs Uconn: An easy line just got easier with the suspension of the Huskies starting guard and QB Cody Endres, who finally seemed to give Uconn some life offensively. You have to think Edsall regrets not taking another job at this point. Good preseason conf champ pick Herbie.

5.) Cal -3.5 vs Arizona State: This one looks scary on the surface, especially in light of the Bears stinker at USC last week. Scary that is until you realize that the Bears are perhaps the most Jekyl and Hyde team between home vs away in the country. Consider these stats: Home: 3-0, winning by a combined score of 139-17. Road: 0-3, losing by a combined score of 110-54. This one's at home vs a woefully underachieving ASU squad.

Picking w/no Shoes on

Last week I was almost as good as picking bets as I am my nose, but you know what they say, what comes down must go back up . . . in other words, I probably wont be able to pick a booger or a line this week.  I am betting a lot of lines this week that appear to be homer lines, but fuck it, I like em.

WVU -14:  The way Tino Sunseri lit up Syracuse's secondary, you gotta think we roll here.

Staying with the Big East for the next three:

BIG EAST Roadshow!:

Rutgers +13:  Rutgers is terrible.  Terrible, but so is Pitt.  RU typically has had Pitt's number.  I see this one close.

Louis-Ville +2:  This one is a bit dangerous.  Uconn had a week off to get shit straight and ville had a tough one that left Papa John's faggot ass in tears.  Im drinking the Kool-Aid tho

Cincy -7.5:  Another dangerous pick, but I think cincy is back and while Skippy's defense is nasty, they wont be able to contain the Fighting Butches.  USF will finally hit the scoreboard against this attrochious defense, but inevitably Daniels will fuck it up.

South Carolina -12:  Ok, I am going with 80% of the country, so this is a major homer pick, but Vandy is bad, and I think Kentucky was an aberration.  They take out frustration on Vandy.

Wisconsin +5.5:  I am not buying the Badger Kool Aid, as that would probably taste like shit.  I think Iowa will win, but 3 points is a more appropriate line.

Flying Potato-Week Seven Picks

WVU -10 vs USF
UNC -6.5 @ UVA
Nebraska -9.5 vs Texas
Wisconsin +3.5 vs OSU
USC -2.5 vs Cal
PITT +1 @ 'Cuse

BREAKING NEWS ALERT!

Yes, gentlemen, pay very close attention. This affects all of us.

A major porn star has tested positive for HIV, and the porn industry has been shut down, indefinitely.

This is the first porn industry shut down in 6 years. In 2004, a porn star tested positive for HIV (reportedly from filming in Brazil), and 3 other actresses were found to have been affected. Testing will begin immediately for all performers on the "quarantine list" and should expect to take several weeks. This is like Outbreak meets 28 Days Later.

On question lingering remains: Now how will we fill all our free time?


- Grey Bush


US porn industry thrown into crisis after actor tests positive for HIV [guardian.co.uk]

Betting With The Angry Old Man, Week Seven

Appreciate that the Pigskin Progger finally picked some games that matter. Also, glad to see that the Army-Rutgers line stayed at 7, schmuck.

Now, on to games that people care about (Home teams in CAPS)...

NC State -7 @ EAST CAROLINA
Russell Wilson leads the Pack to victory in this in-state battle of directional Carolina. Look for him to be a Heisman sleeper in 2011.

South Carolina -4.5 @ KENTUCKY
Kentucky's performance last week was more a reflection of Auburn playing poorly on the road than their actual skill. Cocky parlays last week's momentum into a big road win.

FLORIDA -7.5 v. Mississippi State
Does anyone really think Urban Meyer is going to lose a 3rd straight conference game? Getting a Bulldogs-squad in their second consecutive road game only re-enforces my confidence here.

Boise State -39.5 @ SAN JOSE STATE
"But Grey Bush, you told us last week that Sparty was for real? Oh, thaaaaat Sparty..."

ROAD DOGG OF THE WEEK:
Texas +9.5 @ Nebraska
Mack Brown will have his boys ready to send Nebraska off to the Big Eleven in style.

THE HOMER CALL:
WEST VIRGINIA -10 v. South Florida
I learned my lesson last week. Even on a sloppy track, take the 'Eers.


- Grey Bush

Betting against Shoeless

Wanna talk about Identity Theft Grey Bush????  Some faggot at Michigan is running around calling himself Shoelace; clearly living off the fame of Shoeless.  Bastard aint worth my coon dog Rufus's shit.

Gotta take the eer's at -10.  Line is going the wrong way which gots me scared, but Im a believer.

I am finally seeing the light of the service academies Army +7, Rutgers blows

Arkansas +4 . . . I think Auburn is due to fall eventually.  they are good but they are winning games incredibly close, and this is probably the best team they have played, except maybe usc.

Iowa -3 . . . same as last week, bet against Michigan until the lines seriously even out.

Cincy -2.5 . . .  like em at a FG to win.  I think Cincy will right this ship, although I said the same about Uconn.  I also think the ville will upset some teams in the BE, I just don't think this is it, especially since this is a Rivalry game.  Hopefully butch jones has studied up on the Keg of Nails and kept his team off from kegs of Iron City.

Souther miss -14.5 . . .  fuck it, its my dynasty team and memphis is terrible

Bazooooooooooka Sighting

Hide your kids, Hide your Wife . . . The Grey Bush is in town

Pigskin Prgnosticator Week 7 Picks

Competition Record: 15-19-1
Hard Leans: 11-9
WVU: 2-2-1

Week 1: Competition Plays 1-4-1, Hard Leans 1-2
Week 2: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 2-3
Week 3: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 3-0
Week 4: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 1-1
Week 5: Competition Plays 2-3, Hard Leans 2-2
Week 6: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 2-1

Embarrassing Performance through the first half of the season.

1.) UCF -5 at Marshall
2.) WVU -10.5 vs USF
3.) USC -2.5 vs Cal
4.) Iowa -3 at Michigan
5.) Texas A&M -3 vs Missouri
6.) Louisville +3 vs Cincy

Hard Leans
1.) Kansas +3 vs Kansas State
2.) SMU +1.5 at Navy
3.) Texas Tech -3 vs Okie State

Week 6 Helmet Stickers

As I take a quick look back at last weekend I feel that we need to start handing out weekly awards. So starting with week 6 here we go.

Inebriation Award: This one goes to the Grey Bush. He destroyed all competition this week with his drinking performance. Gibbies, check. Bugsys, check. My Garage, check. Musket, check. Mutts, check. Sheetz, check. He could not have done it without the help of the Beerkake paint stick which allows one to drink multiple beers in mere seconds.

Tailgating parent of the Week: Nancy Searles, a long way from home she showed up ready for four quarters of football and Tequilla Jelly. Represent young lady!

Text of the Week: FUCK!!! Sent by the Grey Bush in his angry old man ways, origin unknown.

Beer Ponger of the Week: The Flying Potato who went undefeated…while wearing a hot dog costume.

Best Dressed: Shoeless. His puke laden shoes were a nice compliment to his incredibly wrinkled jersey.

Play of the Week: Holly and Shoeless in their efforts to have Jersey Subs deliver to the tailgate. Their research to find someone to bring the food to us was huge as the beer munchies set in during the tailgate was very nice!

Ice of the Week: The Flying Potato was iced by none other than his sister at bugsys as she presented him with a Smirnoff wrapped in a garbage bag…humiliation ensued.

Comback performace of the Week: The entire TEAM MVP Tailgate it wasn’t easy but once they found their stride all members were and unstoppable force doing work on beers until 3:30 the next morning.

Congrats to all of out Week 6 award winners; this is the kind of stuff that keeps us all coming back, year after year, week after week. We have a quick turn around this week but that’s why we train our minds and bodies all year round.

-The Flying Potato

Will the REAL Grey Bush Please Stand Up?

***EDITOR'S NOTE*** It is with regret that we must inform the devotees of the Team MVP Army that due to the potentially offensive nature of this post (even more than normal), many of the links in this article are NSFW. This means that if you work in a sensitive environment, where your employer may monitor your Internet activity, please do not click on the links. And for the love of God, don't show this to your kids...

Ladies and gentlemen, as I'm certain you have heard by now, there is an impostor in our midsts.

A man has taken steps to ruin my good name, to defame and slander the reputation of class that I have meticulously built over the years. This man will take advantage of young women who are unsuspecting of his devious ways. This man cannot be trusted, and his manipulative ways cannot be allowed to continue. This man must be stopped and the record must be set straight. Brett Favre's twisted, devious hoax must stop now.

Ladies and gentlemen of Team MVP Nation, I come before you tonight to dispell the rumors and leave no doubt that I am the true Grey Bush.

That's right my friends! The mystery impostor is the one and only Brett Favre; gallivanting about the town, sending pictures of his naughty bits to unsuspecting young ladies, misrepresenting himself as a true grey bush. I assure you that as sure as I stand here today before my legions of adoring fans, that this bush is not mine! Brett Fraud, err... Favre has been exposed as a grey bush "poser" by deadspin.com and video evidence of his tryst can be found here. Maybe there wasn't something about Mary after all.

the impostor "grey bush" in question

We at Team MVP cannot, and will not stand for this fabrication and adulteration of the facts (although the whole "Pants On The Ground" thing from last season absolutely makes more sense now). General Larry Platt would not be pleased.

Ladies and gentleman, do not trust this man, he is an impostor and cannot be trusted.

But God love Jenn Sterger!


- The REAL Grey Bush


Epilogue: For those that don't know, Jenn Sterger is more than just your average "pretty-face" sideline reporter. She was accidentally discovered in 2005 by Brent Musberger during the Florida State-Miami game and immediately became an internet sensation and adopted mascot/sex symbol for the university (all apologies to Chief Osceola and Renegade). She did photo shoots for Maxim and Playboy magazines, but her popularity waned a bit after making the decision to reduce the influence of her "biggest assets."

Kicking off the Big East

Big East play kicked off last Friday and thankfully it was a Friday, because no one would have been watching otherwise.  This kid thought Uconn was starting to roll a bit, but apparently they really are as terrible as they have looked against any credible team.  Syracuse then pulled off one of the few Big East wins they have been able to achieve in the past six years, given some credence to the thought that they may actually be back on the right track.

This week may be a bit more telling for the rest of league.  If WVU cannot right the track versus their perennial thorn USF, then this league really is in shambles.  Look for BJ Daniels to make a few big plays, but this team does not have the tools to compete against a top caliber defense.  If WV puts the hammer on the Bulls, it could be the first step in a dominating Big East season.  Friday night brings us the Keg of Nails game, which brings up another one of the Big East's cellar dwellers who is demanding respect, Louisville.  Charlie Strong's team will provide an interesting story all year, as they are not very deep in talent, but appear to be capable of pulling a full upsets this year.  Can they do it against the two time defending league champion?  Finally Pitt travels up to the Dome to answer two questions, how bad is Pitt, and how legit is the 'Cuse?

Betting with the Angry Old Man, Week 6

If you are still reading this blog, congratulations. You either have entirely too much time on your hands or you are related to one of the other contributors, because everyone else has either moved on to read analysis that they actually care about, or they have died from boredom.

What's that your say?

"But we love your posts Grey Bush!"

Well, that's because I write about games that people actually care about!

Here is a breakdown of some of the games my opponents have picked in 2010 thus far:

- Ball St v. Western Michigan
- Southern Mississippi v. East Carolina
- Temple v. Army
- Hawaii v. Louisiana Tech
- Idaho v. Western Michigan
- Navy v. Louisiana Tech

Like seriously folks. Who even coaches Louisiana Tech, Sonny Dykes?

This week, we had, guest analyst Gary Coleman in the Team MVP Studios to breakdown my opponents' picks:


So, I'll continue to pick games that don't suck, so not to bore our readership into submission:

NEBRASKA -10.5 @ Kansas State
UTAH -6 @ Iowa State
AUBURN -6.5 @ Kentucky
Texas A&M @ -5 ARKANSAS

ROAD DOGG PICK OF THE WEEK
TENNESSEE +11 @ Georgia

THE HOMER CALL:
UNLV +27.5 @ West Virginia

Much love Gary...

- Grey Bush

Love this clip,

Dont love the retard that couldn't edit it properly

Its so cold in the D

Ok I want to see what our readers and contributors think about this so hit me back with your thoughts.

If our beloved Mountaineers finish 10-2 would you consider that a disappointing season?

My response would be HELL YES! As it stands we are currently playing one of the weakest schedules in our Big East history. Unless we can get a good run out of PITT i think anything less that 11-1 is just crap. I know that 11 wins is no easy task and I dont think we will walk through every team we play as conference games are never easy but there is no reason we should loose another game. Maybe I have high expectations or it just might be Beiber fever.

Flying Potato-Week Six Picks

Michigan St. +4.5 @ Michigan.

Auburn -6 @ Kentucky.

Tennessee. +11 @ Georgia.

Utah -6 @ Iowa St.

Albama -6.5 @ South Carolina.

WVU -27 vs UNLV.

Bold Predictions... that are guaranteed to be wrong...

Ah, cometh October! And come with it, a month of football past to base actual analysis on, rather than the pontification of talking heads based solely on opinion and severely slanted breakdowns on how everyone thinks teams will perform.

Well, based on my completely arbitrary opinion, I will now make some bold predictions for the rest of the season:

If Sparty wins in Ann Arbor this weekend, they will finish the season undefeated
And if my aunt had nuts, she'd be my uncle.

But if Michigan State manages to do what no one else has been able to thus far this year -- stop "Shoelaces" Denard Robinson (not to be confused with our very own "Shoeless") and the Michigan offense -- then its a very real possibility that the Big Eleven will have two undefeated representatives in the BCS this year. And when a boost they'll have seeing their ailing head coach on the sidlines for the first time since their emotional OT victory over Notre Dame. A win over Meeshigan and The Fightin' Dantonis avoid Ohio State on their way to the BCS. They still have two tough-looking road match-ups at Iowa and Penn State, but these two games look much less daunting than they did 4 or 5 weeks ago.

But I beg you Sparty, lose those god-awful shoulder-stripe uniforms/

The Oregon Ducks will NOT run the table
Teams with great defenses and mediocre offenses have the ability to overcome an offensive miscue or two and have the D stand up and minimize the damage. Teams with great offenses and mediocre defenses just hope they can out-score their opponents into submission. Well, if history has taught us anything, its that every great offense is going to have an off night. The Oregon Ducks are not immune to this dynamic.

There will be a game where things don't go so well. A helmet on the ball as LaMichael James cuts through traffic and its one fumble recovered in Oregon territory. A Darron Thomas pass slightly too high into the awaiting arms of a defender and its six points the other way. When your offense inevitably has its off-night, and you spot your opponents too many points that your offense is able to out-score, and BAM... recipe for an upset. It almost happened against Stanford, spotting the Cardinal a 21-3 lead, but The Fighting Harbaugh's were putrid in the final 45 minutes.

Just wait Duckies... its coming.

The "mid-majors" will finish with TWO undefeated teams, but it may not be who you think
Yes yes, we have all heard by now about how good Boise State and TCU are, but neither of these teams will be bowling in the BCS come January. That's because two more teams from their respective conferences are going to end their unbeaten runs.

Lets address the more straightforward Boise State first. On November 26th, Boise State will travel to Reno to face the fearsome pistola of the Nevada Wolfpack. Chris Ault will have his men ready, and they are more than angry after years of playing in the Potato Boys' shadows. The Broncos' defection from the WAC will provide the last bit of motivation to finally push Nevada past their rival (in what may be the shocker of the year) to finish 2010 unbeaten.

The second of these undefeated squads will be the team who I feel is the best of the mid-majors this year, the Utah Utes. On October 23rd, TCU faces an inspired -- but under-manned -- Air Force squad at home, winning by 2 TDs, and deflating the Force.

The following week, in what is shaping up to be one of the best games of the year, that same Air Force squad will host the Utes in the trap game of the century. Look for this to be an exciting, back-and-forth battle with the Utes escaping Colorado Springs with a hard-earned victory over a Falcons squad that has had too much emotions for an 8-day span. TCU will be facing the MWC's resident Debbie Downers, UNLV, in a total snoozer.

All this sets up a HUGE match-up of unbeatens in Salt Lake City, with Utah, the best mid-major coming out ahead, and throwing everything we thought we knew about the mid-majors into a state of total chaos.

The Big XII is better than advertised...
...but no one is going undefeated here. Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Missouri are left standing, and they all look like train wrecks waiting to happen. Oklahoma has been far too inconsistent to lead me to trust them, and Nebraska and Mizzou play a de facto eliminator on October 30th -- if Mizzou can stay out of their own way even that long. (For the record, I'm taking Nebraska to fall from the ranks of the unbeatens a week prior at the Pokes before pasting Mizzou in Lincoln). Eh... maybe they aren't that good...

The Mountaineers will find a way to break our hearts again
Call it a hunch... based on almost 30 years of bad memories.

- Grey Bush

The Email

Dear EFAs,

A week off from Mountaineer football, fall weather, games starting on Tuesday’s, Tuesday’s with Maurie, Gin with Tonic, Captain with apple cider, Captain with your Captain Crunch . . . folks were in the heart of fall and the heart of the football season and after a week off I know I’m anxious to hit the tailgating circuit again.  I delegated out some work this past weekend as my associate over at the blog traveled Champaign to see how they tailgate.  Check out hisexcellent analysis of how and why the Big 11 produces terrible tailgating football fans.  The only secret ingredient to their repulsive tailgating he fails to mention is that they are from the Midwest, aka Middle Earth, ipso facto they are hobbits.  Hobbits are terrible tailgaters.  The only creature worse than a tailgating hobbit is Bill Brasky, which goes unsaid.  The only non-schmuck in Ohio athletics is the former Ohio Bobcat.  The only thing positive about his adventures is that he proved one of the 25 Tailgating Rules wrong; this Fighting Illini can tailgate with us whenever.

The TV schedule doesn't quite rival last week's night caps.  LSU plays Florida, which we could only hope that Les Miles finds a way to out do himself again.  I'm thinking instead of running out the clock to win on a third and 3 with 8 seconds left, he calls in the field goal unit, only to get it blocked.  Thankfully, Brantley fumbles for Florida with .03 seconds left on the worst home field clock in history.  A Jarret Lee bomb down the side lines bounces off the DB's hands, off the Refs head, and into Ruben Randle's hands.  Much like an old school McDonald's commercial.  Probably the best game on, will not be watched by anyone with a pulse, due to the fact that it conflicts with WVU's massacre of the higher education of Vegas.  Bama vs South Carolina is worth a Tivo.  However, make sure you tune into Nebraska versus Kansas State tomorrow night for a couple Big 12 undefeated teams.  I don't give KSU much credit, especially cause their coach looks like the professor from Futurama, but I gotta hope Pelini's crew chokes.  I mean seriously, is this team that good?  One damn offense explosion last year and a host of terrible teams this year has everyone believing their offense is as nasty as their defense.  I will give them this, their defense is as nasty as their coach is looking, which is impressive.

Not much to say about the Mountaineer’s this week.  At this point I am ready to put Baton Rouge in the past and move onto, eh yea um, UNLV.  Not exactly an exciting follow-up.  At least we renew a series with Skip “Don’t call me Sweet Lou” Holtz for a Thursday night matchup next week.  Not to look past the Rebels, but they are terrible.  I expect us to come in somewhere just below the line at +27.5, probably in the 24-25 range.  It would be nice to see the running game get rolling again.

I am excited about my return to the tailgate though.  Due to some unfortunate family circumstances I missed the Maryland game, but from everything I heard in the weeks to follow, the crew represented well without their fearless email writer.  They even invented a new way to ingest beer!  This new technique involves a Paint Stick . . . yep a paint stick.  You apparently fill the paint stick with beer and pull the trigger ejected ambrosia straight to your esophagus in a manner that is much easier than a beer bong.  The thought reminds me of a time long ago in college.  We were walking through Lowes and this old couple (probably late thirties), were having an argument about something that old people argue about, probably light fixtures.  We quietly walked by with 8 foot of tubing and funnel trying not to disturb them, when the man turns in a rage of fury and proclaims “and these guys are building a beer bong!”  Never graduate EFAs, never graduate.

Just as a reminder on that note, the tailgate did move this year, much to the dismay of some my coworkers in the Blue Lot who no longer get to see us "Sing, dance, and are merry".  Very politically correct description.  Instead of describing our location, I have attached a Rand McNalley map.

Speaking of the Holtz family, I wonder what Dr. Lou will bring out next week?  He was the curse against USF before and we all know he loves Skip for some ridiculous reason.  I predict that he will do his magic trick for the 45^th time.

Random Musings

Personally I find Les “The Mad Hatter” Miles amusing.  The constant drama he provides is incredibly intriguing for being in a conference mired in tradition. The SEC does a great job of mixing up its unrelenting history with amusing coaches.  I hope they keep winning and in equally terrible fashion as they did against Tennessee.  I am now calling it the Bayou Voodoo.

We have some results from last week’s review of my new look and by a one point victory, the Mike Leech look narrowly edges out the fine suspender wearing, pipe smoking visage of Howard Schnellenberger.  I was hoping it would come down to these two as they are both my hero’s.  After acclimating my look to Mike Leech, I will begin to take his dating advice.  My tried and true box of wine and Milk Steak dinner hasn’t been cutting the cheese lately.

People are going Cat Scratch Fever over the Wolverines and their 5-0 start.  I am not being a Rich Rod hater, but easy does it folks, their best wins are over a 2-3 ND team and Indiana.  They also barely beat Umass.  With a red hot Michigan State team, Iowa, and Penn State on the horizon, they’re about to be in a Stranglehold.  Not saying they cannot win some of those, but I would definitely be looking to bet against them until the line corrects itself (-4.5 this wknd).

Speaking of Cat Scratch Fever, my mom's cat recently died.  She emailed me after the tragic event and I would to share a portion of her email with you.  The first paragraph was the typical death of a pet, remorseful email.  The end though, goes like this "She is now resting comfortably below ground behind the garage. Hopefully her ghost will enjoy terrorizing the woodchucks living under the garage.."  Bear in mind our cat was a meaner son of a bitch than Bill Brasky.

I have no affiliations, but how much fun is it watching Oregon play?  It’s like Rich Rod’s offense but they throw the ball almost as much as they run it.  The only thing more amusing are the Oregon flavored ESPN commercials.

A couple milestones in The Email history this week; we have finally cracked the 100 recipient mark.  We also got our first compliment from a Marshall fan last week.  I new they would come around eventually.

Betting on the Blog

Yours truly took a step forward this week, picking up a game on each of the swine that I compete against.  However; I had a terrible start this week as I took the second half line in the West Chester v East Stroudsburg replay that was coterminous with MNF.  Apparently East Stroudsburg thought it would be cool to play prevent defense to screw me out of a cover.  Point shaving is a serious crime kiddos, even if it is Division 2 and two days after the game ended.  That bull shit cost me a bet of two Pabst Blue Ribbons.

Enjoy the weekend folks,

Al

Pigskin Prgnosticator Week 6 Picks

Competition Record: 13-15-1
Hard Leans: 9-8
WVU: 2-1-1

Week 1: Competition Plays 1-4-1, Hard Leans 1-2
Week 2: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 2-3
Week 3: Competition Plays 4-2, Hard Leans 3-0
Week 4: Competition Plays 2-4, Hard Leans 1-1
Week 5: Competition Plays 2-3, Hard Leans 2-2

Rough Week all around, though despite my seat in the cellar I am not discouraged. With apologies to orangutan titties, I'll once again be betting a few off the radar games. Pardon me for having a wide range of knowledge of the sport and not taking the four marquee games that get the most action every week. Of course comparing my record to his, I have no room to talk right now regarding my fball knowledge.

This is the time of year I love with lots of fool's gold lines. If they look too easy over the next 3-4 weeks they ususally are.

1.) UNLV +27.5 vs WVU: Classic sleepwalk game for WVU. We haven't covered this number against any I-A team in Stew era. Combine that with conference play being 5 days away and us likely looking to rest a recovering Josh Jenkins and Noel Devine and I'm not sure what other conclusion you can draw. I'd love to see 56-0, but am starting to think I will never see that again from the Eers in my lifetime.

2.) Ball St. -4 vs Western Michigan: Situation play, have Ball St as darkhorse to win MAC West and Western is in look-ahead spot with Notre Dame on deck

3.) Iowa State +6 vs Utah: How is Utah #10? Anyway, top 10 team favored by just 6 at ISU. Easy cash right? Not a chance. Line opened Utah -8 and has fallen to 6, despite 72% on Utah. Sharp money and Vegas betting on the Cyclones and I will follow suit. Remember the VT-ECU game, same deal here. Fight your logic, be sharp.

4.) Michigan State +4.5 vs Michigan: Wrong team favored. Denard must prove it against a quality defense. Someone forgot to tell Rich defense and special teams are a part of the game as well.

5.) Southern Miss -8.5 vs ECU: Pirates play zero defense and are poorly coached.

6.) NC State -9.5 vs BC: BC offense won't be able to keep pace.

Hard Leans:

Baylor +2.5 vs Texas Tech: Identity crisis in Lubbock, TT offense is a mess

South Carolina +6.5 vs Bama: A week of rest for Lattimore and Co should help. Bama isn't as bulletproof as they looked last week. Lest we forget it took two Ryan Mallet gift INTs for them to escape Fayetville with a win. I think the Cocks are as good or better than Arkansas. They only reason this isn't on the competition picks is I couldnt get it at 7 or 7.5 and this number sucks.

La Tech -1 vs Utah State: That's right I'm betting on Sonny Dyke's team. Same Logic as Iowa St. No reason for La Tech to not be a TD dog. Line opened at La Tech +2 and now they are a short fav despite action on Aggies at 70% rate. Don't question it folks, these hit 70% of the time. Not on competition cause despite the odds, I don't trust La Tech.

Shoeless week 6 picks

Look who be moving up the standings!  The kid with no teeth and no shoes.  Pigskin is too busy beating off to swine porn to do his research, which is unfortunate because he uses my computer, and the Grey Bush is showing his age.  He actually went to a football game this weekend and didn't drink after it.  Schmuck.

I am technically entering this week 0-1 after a crushing loss on the second half line in the Westchester v East Stroudsburg replay last night.  Sons of bitches from ESU started reading the halftime clippings.  I owe Chris 2 Pabst Blue Ribbons.  Good thing for my budget, there is a fine establishment at the bottom of the holler that has em for a buck o' five.

Michigan State:  +4.5.  I thouroughly think MSU will trip up against someone eventually, unlike the Grey Bush who will make a "bold" prediction that they will go undefeated.  My bold prediction?  GB will get laid prior to the end of the Mayan calender.

Denard Robbie is good.  Michigan's defense is not.  Before we get all riled up, remember that Michigan's best  opponents came from the state of Indiana.

Alabama -6.5:  not hating on the cocks, just loving up on Saban.

FSU +6.5:  Ahhhh the "They're Back!!" Bowl.  Anytime either of these teams beat someone with a pulse we have endure hype that is just shy of the bull shit that comes out of South Bend.  I just feel FSU is a bit more consistent and Jacory Harris will make enough mistakes to keep it close.  Miami goes Wide Middle to win it.

UCLA +7.5:  i have a feeling I am going to get Slick Ricked no matter which way I bet this team, but I cant help it.  I'll probably get boned by a Bear on this one, but fuck it.

LSU +7:  The Mad Hatter saga continues.  I guess I understand why people like Florida with the manner that LSU has been winning, but w/their offensive woes, do you really think they are going to score much on LSU? I guess I understand why LSU fans hate Les's luck, but shouldn't we be calling it Bayou Voodoo?

UNLV 27.5:  Proof me wrong Mounties and I'll premie in the stands.  I think this is a little high, but honestly probably would have taken it at 25-26, because frankly, UNLV is bad.  they have been giving up mega points and I don't see them scoring double digits on us.

Soft Leans . . . if they were hard leans I wouldn't be a pussy about it; i'd bet em.  Like NCST giving up 9.5 and loved UCONN at the open of -4, but minus six is a bit much.  Think they are moving forward.  Rutgers got stuck in the Green Wave, which by the way, how the hell is it Green?  That city is dirtier than my drawers.

Shoeless

Reason #67 to Become a Registered Voter

I usually try to discourage hard political stances on this blog, but sometimes there is a cause that is just worth fighting for. Our country is at a crossroads in history. The United States of America, the democracy I proudly call home, was built on a foundation of justice, liberty, and freedom. Terrorism, social decay, and financial catastrophe are threaten to rock the beliefs that we have come to value as a nation.

But change is in the air, and it starts with one woman in Columbus, OH.

We need a candidate that is committed to cleaning up the crime and making our streets safe again. We need a candidate that isn't afraid to stand up for the common man. We need a candidate that we can trust.

I'm not quite sure I even need to explain more. If you click this link and don't know why I am endorsing this candidate, then I'm fairly certain you and I have never met.

http://kim4judge.com/

Freedom isn't free; Vote Doucher for Judge!

- Grey Bush

Popping the Cork on Some... Champaign!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, we here at Team MVP are what some might refer to as "equal-opportunity tailgaters." We would never pass up an opportunity to enjoy the atmosphere, fanfare, and especially the alcohol, at fun and interesting establishments in new and exciting locales; we are not drinking elitists, more like the "drinking elite".

This past weekend brought my travels to sample the quaint, Mid-western, college values of Champaign, Illinois, home of the University of Illinois Fighting Illini!


View Larger Map

Seeing as Champaign is only a five-hour stone's-throw from Columbus (Google Maps says 6, which I'm pretty sure I could beat on a moped), we first made the executive decision to make the trip a one-night stay (a special thanks to the Drury Inn & Suites of Champaign for the luxurious accommodations), meaning we had to adjust our drinking schedule from 48 to 36 hours.

After we arrived in Champaign we first set a delicious foundation of buffalo chicken from Chili's Grill & Bar (*note: corn-on-the-cob is a terrible choice the night before a tailgate), and then off to our pre-determined drinking destination for the evening, KAM's: Home of the Drinking Illini.

The initial impression one has of KAM's is its "unique" aroma. I am not embellishing at all when I say that this place smelled like absolute shit. The smell was one of the most offensive odors that I have ever experienced in my life. It is an exotic combination of some familiar, and somewhat expected smells: stale beer, sweaty dancing undergraduates, and piss; but it also combined with some other, mysterious odors that resulted in a distinctly unique stench unlike any other of its kind. The smell was something like formaldehyde from a city-morgue, combined with the sourness of rancid milk, with a hint of something sweet, like rotting buffalo meat. When I unpacked my bag this morning, the odor absorbed into clothes I wore that evening nearly induced a reactionary projectile vomit.

The bar itself had a nice layout, booths for patrons lined the walls and provided ample seating for those who were cozying up for a long night of adult beverages, and the large-360 bar provided adequate space to procure drinking whenever you could manage to fight through the wall of fraternity knuckleheads that lined the bar and refused to leave even after being served.

As for the ladies of KAM's, well, all I can say is "Oskee-Wow-Wow!"

...proof that you CAN wear white after Labor Day...

Other than the smell and the girls, KAM's used to be known as the "Home of the Gallon Beers." Unfortunately, something about a liability prevents KAM's from continuing this legacy. Instead, they serve "personal-sized" pitchers, which amount to about 1/2 a gallon, for $6. We had 3 each. Very Nice!

At the end of the night, the cabbies were lined up outside the bar waiting to take their drunken patrons home safely. This is certainly a welcome change from the Morgantown Yellow Cab Company, which may or may not get you home by 4am.

Gameday traffic heading to the game was a complete and utter clusterfuck. I guess this should come as no surprise considering an on-campus stadium in a small, college-town. Parking lots are not clearly marked, and traffic flow could not be worse; it literally took us almost an hour to get parked at the stadium that was 2.8 miles from our hotel. That is pretty miserable.

Another thing struck me a bizarre: when you drive into a busy venue, you can reasonably expect to see many "good" parking spots being reserved with chairs or blocks or boards or some kind. Not at the University of Illinois. As we drove through campus, all of the empty parking spaces had wheelchair-bound college girls sitting in them. Easily the most bizarre thing I've ever seen at a sporting event in my entire life. We saw at least 3 or 4 of these, which has to be some sort of sorority hazing ritual, right?

The gameday atmosphere, I'm not going to lie, was pretty lame. Illinois fans are the type that have become comfortable with their level of mediocrity, and opposing fans (especially the always obnoxious Buckeye Nation) have learned to exploit this. No mean-spirited chants, no stink-eye looks or snide remarks as we walked to the stadium. Just a bunch of lame-assed people who were prepared to have their asses handed to them. I suppose maybe our tailgates would be a little subdued if our games kicked-off at 11am; uh, maybe not...

As for the aforementioned Buckeye Nation, I think these pictures speak for themselves. Douche-baggery.

Doucher #1
Doucher #2
Doucher #3
Douchers #1 & #3 together

These idiots sit together, in the front row (in seats that aren't even theirs), apparently at every Buckeye game. Its like they met at some quasi-Star Trek convention and decided to step up their games for the college football season.

What is is MORE bizarre, is that on the ride to Champaign Friday afternoon, we passed Doucher #2 (who I was informed refers to himself as "Buckeye Man") on I-70 around the Huber Heights exit, which is just to the west of Dayton, OH. He was dressed in full gameday regalia. Jersey, OSU receiver gloves, buckeye nut necklace, Red and Silver wig, and full-facepaint. We slowed down to get a closer look. This was around 1:30pm on Friday afternoon, for an 11:00am Saturday morning game. I couldn't even try to make this shit up. Does he check into his hotel room like that???

This general atmosphere of pregame malaise is downright insulting considering Memorial Stadium is a very nice place to see a game. It is one of those old steel and concrete cathedrals of football that is both intimate and intimidating. These behemoths, though archaic, are part of the history, pageantry, and beauty of college football. The entire stadium is red-brick and has a wall of press and luxury boxes that I imagine could create a fairly loud and raucous atmosphere if the fans there actually gave a damn.


The game was miserably boring and uneventful, save for the play when I thought Cameron Hayward actually killed Illinois' freshman quarterback. The QB was getting tackled from behind and his upper-body was falling forward when Hayward came in from the front and hit him right below the chin and almost bent him completely in half. I'm not exaggerating, I honestly thought they were going to have to clean that kid's spinal fluid off of Zuppke Field with a Zamboni.

There was also the stunned silence of the entire Buckeye contingent when Terrelle Pryor got sniped by the 35 yard-line. The sound of those fans watching as they thought their national championship dreams were crashing and burning in America's heartland; now that was a sickening sound. Pryor still doesn't impress me much as a passer, but perhaps his future in the Tour-de-France will be more successful?

Regardless, I guess it was kind of cool to see Ron Zook's final matchup against the Buckeyes. Maybe he'll have some more free time to take-up a new hobby, like waterskiing or capoeira.

Thankfully, traffic out of the stadium wasn't nearly the disaster it was getting in. Our egress from campus to I-74 took less than 40 minutes, which judging by the drive in the morning must have been some sort of small miracle.

And that is pretty much Champaign in a nut-shell. It is a little college town in the same vein as Morgantown or Blacksburg, although we were informed by our cabbie Friday that the campus is comprised of nearly 45% Asian. I would definitely go back again, certainly to KAM's, but maybe next time for a basketball game. Maybe then the fans will actually care.

- Grey Bush

Bad week of Betting

This blog's prowess for betting looks about as good as the Big East is at beating 1-A opponents.  Everyone except for Shoeless, who is the man, went 2-3, meaning the Hillbilly picked up a game on everyone, moving into sole possession of second.

The big errors, which were violated by multiple bloggers, were the Michigan and Florida picks.  Go ahead and believe in Michigan if you wish, but you shouldn't believe in their defense.  Lets also curtail your excitement as of now, because Indiana is probably the best team they have played.  The Gators clearly are not nearly the same caliber as they have been in the past.

Shoeless

Big East

For all the Big East haters . . . back the fuck off.  I mean what other conference goes out and plays as many difficult out of conference games as the BE???  So what that Rutgers lost to Tulane.  The Green Wave is is hellacious, especially in October, when the levy is typically released for Gualey season.  Schiano's crew hung tough today . . . keep chopping wood guys.

Shoeless

The A-LIst (Vol. 2)

Alright here is another list of random thoughts not all of which pertain to college football.

1. As we are in the month of October you had better be getting your Halloween costumes ready because nobody likes a half-assed costume.

2. Is it me or does it seem like there has already been a lot of good games between top 25 teams already this season. It’s like each week there is a t least 2 top 10 teams playing ranked opponents which is awesome. But when you think about it the Big East has gracefully bowed out of the polls which means more spots for everyone else…your welcome.

3. Speaking of all the Top 25 play the teams ranked 6-25 are bouncing around like a beach ball at a Nickleback concert. It makes me think that if we played Notre Dame we could sneak back in to the top 5.

4. As our friend al posted in the weekly email he needs a new look. Here are my thoughts on his options (refer here for said options.)

Choice A – A mustache and pipe at 25 doesn’t make you interesting it makes you a douche bag that would strut around the Mountainlair on the weekends in hopes of finding someone to discuss Mark Twain with. And unless you have won a national championship or are an avid riverboat gambler I would steer clear of this one.

Choice B – Unless you are really trying to look like our blog I suggest you fix the link.

Choice C - Wow. I would say yes to this one but I don’t know if you have consumed enough wild game in your life or smoked enough cigs to pull off this look. This is a bad dude with a crazy voice. He is like a Macho Man Randy Savage – Survivor Man hybrid. Also I don’t know how you would look with a mustache.

Choice D - This is the obvious choice for me. I think you need to incorporate the eye-patch too, not all the time because I don’t want you to mess up your eye sight. I think that this is the look for you. (Note: I would review his dating tips, but avoid putting people in sheds with no windows that’s just weird.)

5. Fall has the worst seasonal beers hands down. How am I supposed to get excited for fall, which happens to be my favorite season, when all the beers taste like someone let a damn kindergartener go ape shit with the nutmeg and pumpkin spice. Oh Winter seasonals I await your arrival.

Well that’s all I have for now everyone have a good weekend watching college football.