The Email

Well last weekend’s performance surely shut up a lot of the haters out there.  As I tried to convey to numerous people who were camped out in Bill Stewart’s front yard shooting tater guns at him and his bride, it’s a long season.  If we win these next few and end up in a BCS game, we will all look back and laugh at how we teased Marshall fans.  There was certainly room for concern after that game, I will not debate that, but the squad did quite well in putting some these concerns to rest.

There are some great games around the nation including Bama vs Arkansas and South Carolina at Auburn.  I am especially looking forward to the later of those two, both have looked decent, but I am still a bit unsure on.  You cannot say Clemson got jobbed at Auburn, but it sure did feel like it.  Personally I am looking forward to Jim Harbaugh making Notre Dame fans cry like babies and already ask for Kelly’s resignation when they get blown out at home, but it really looksto be a huge week for the maligned Big East.  To this point, the BE has been more fraudulent than Balloon boy.  WVU’s win over Maryland last weekend proved to be the league’s first win over a BCS foe.  Cincy is likely going to get stomped at home  by Oklahoma, UNC can probably roll Rutgers even with their 8^th stringers in, and if Syracuse, USF, or Uconn lose, we might as well through in the towel as they play Colgate, WKY, and UBuff respectively.  Clearly at this point West Virginia and Pitt are carrying the torch for the league and have great opportunities to shine some light on the dismal dark ages.  The league has looked so bad, that I don’t think I will even be able to root against Pitt this week.  Even if we do beat LSU, we need some more credible opponents downstream. 

Before we get into my outlook on the LSU game that you have been dying to read, let’s delve into a story that you may not have been following, but you probably should have:

As a former Lansing High Bobcat, it tugged at my heart strings to see a fellow Bobcat viciously attack Brutus “the Brutally Retarded” Buckeye mascot this past Saturday.  Such spirit should be commended and praised within a football community that takes so much pride in vivaciously standing up for one’s own alma mater.  Knowing that his team would inevitably get whacked and the school’s pride rested on his shoulders alone, this proud Ohio Bobcat took it upon himself to stick it to the Buckeyes.  Sure they escorted him off the field, they are probably creating lies about his jealousy of the Big 11 and how he escaped from a mental ward prior to the game, but for one shining moment he was the man and isn’t that what college is all about?  If one of my friends went Terry Tate on the Buckeye I would speak their name in reverence until the day I passed on to the great beer fridge in the sky.  For the people who are so overtly caught up in today’s political correctness trends (which is clearly not supported by this email), the fact of the matter is that this young gent is an American hero who stands up for the average Joe who is trying to wage forward in his pursuit of happiness in spite the corrupt corporate world that is infamously known as The Man.  The bobcat also reinforces the fact that Athens is the only town in Ohio worth more than a dung beetle.  Hopefully Frank Solich’s former team, the Huskers, take the same tact next year when they join this league.  I’d love to see Herbie Husker clock Brutus, but I’m sure Brutus would love to husk his cob if he tried, so he better stay away.

LSU OUTLOOK

Let’s preface this with some facts.  LSU is 51-5 since 2000 in home night games.  Les Miles is 24-1 in his tenure.  The lone loss you may ask?  How about a Tim Tebow led Florida team last year in a 13-3 game?  There is a reason why they call this place Death Valley and is consider the hardest place to win in college football.  Morgantown, myself in included, likes to brag about how teams do not win in Morgantown at night, especially on a Thursday evenings, but LSU walks the walk against top notch SEC foes and rightfully can stick their noses in the air to our aforementioned claim to fame.  Point is, it is a more than a bit asinine to assume that you are going to walk into Tiger Stadium and come out with a win.

That being said, I have guarded optimism.  I am personally going into the game just hoping that we keep it close to give ourselves a chance to win if we get the appropriate bounces.  On the other side of the coin, there are a few positives in our favor.  This may be one of the weaker Les Miles teams.  They are by no means bad, but I do not fear their offensive one bit.  Matter of fact I wouldn’t trade our playmakers (Geno, Devine, Jock, Austin) for any of their offensive talents, however our O-line versus their D-line is enough to send shudders down Bill Brasky’s back.  Or at least incite him to make love to wife, either or.  The interesting matchup to watch in my opinion is who they will choose to lockdown with their all world CB Patrick Peterson.  I would assume he will blanket Austin, which will mean that we need to rely on our seniors, Jock and Noel, to come up with something big, which should not scare you in the least, obviously.  While we saw improved line play Saturday, my big fear is their hogmolies will look like a fleet of Mongo’s after a pot of baked beans, with the one goal of treating Geno Smith like the Sheriff of Rock Ridge.  Shockingly, I think that may be The Email’s first Mel Brooks reference, which just fires me up even more for this weekend.  I will meet you all at the commissary after a Mountaineer win for beers and a food fight!

Tailgating

For those of you staying back home, do not think that you can merely sit around on the couch and will this team to win by sipping on a cold one.  I am a firm believer in football Karma.  While it is not possible for everyone to make it to the game, that should not stop you from getting up early and practicing your calisthenics, bonging a beer or two, and playing with the dog and the neighbor’s children in flip cup.  This team needs YOU to believe in them, much like how Tinker Bell needed us to clap for her in Peter Pan.  She was pretty hot by the way, especially in the Hook version, but that is another story entirely.  I urge of you to prepare yourself mentally Saturday morning/afternoon to gain the proper focus this game needs and channel your energy towards the Old Gold and Blue.  It will also help the day go by faster and help release any anxiety you may have.  I know a few faithful readers will certainly be pacing around their homes in need of a puffer by kick off.   These are just some words of wisdom folks, use them how you wish, but beware that you may end up like our dear friend The Grey Bush, who due to his old age and narcissism will likely need a Rascal with stabilizing wheels by mid afternoon.

Picks update

In a less serious note, the ole Grey Bush has surged out to a massive one point lead over the Flying Potato in our pick off challenge on the blog with a solid 5-1 week.  The rest of the pack was 4-2 with everyone except for FP picking WVU to cover, what a douche.  He must be a Boise fan.  Arkansas was the sexy pick last week that resonated with most bettors, personally I bit on Houston and got snake bit.  I’m liking a couple SEC lines this week, one in Tennessee and one in the Swamp.  These teams are not looking great, but the low lines seem to be a bit of an aberration.

Well, I guess we’ll see what we are made of this weekend, I am guessing a lot of carbon.  See ya on the other side . . .

Sleepless on my way to Baton Rouge